If you need me, you deserve me - Baba in Bahrain

“If it is okay with all of you, I wish to stay back. I’ll take care of little Gopal and stay at home...”

“But it is Patel, a close friend of Dwarkanadh. How can we not go?”

“You can go. I really don’t feel like coming”, Mrs. Pankajam Sundaram persisted, “do not force me to come along please.”

“It is okay if she wants to stay back”, her son in law, Dwarkanadh, interrupted, “My friend would not like to be the cause of discomfort for anyone. Plus, she may be eager to spend time with little Sai...”

The father in law looked at Sai Gopal and then turned to Pankajam,

“If he says so, then stay at home. But we may get late at night.”

“It is okay. Manama is a very safe city... and I don’t plan to step out of the house anyway”, Pankajam replied to her husband.

Mr Sundaram, Mrs Pankajam Sundaram with little Sai Gopal. 

Dwarkanadh knew that the main reason his mother in law didn’t want to come for dinner was because his friend was a “Sai devotee”. Pankajam was an orthodox and staunch follower of Vaishnavism and she considered Vishnu as the only supreme Godhead. She naturally didn’t want to be associated to a ‘person’ who was adored as an Avatar of Shiva! This was possibly the reason why she preferred to address her grandson as ‘Gopal’ leaving out the ‘Sai’ prefix.

Mr. N.R.Dwarkanadh, on the other hand, was a sincere devotee of Bhagawan Sri Sathya Sai Baba. In fact, a couple of years before in February 1981, he had founded the first Sai Samithi in Bahrain along with a few other devotees. When a son was born to him in February 1982, it was natural that the parents christened him with the prefix ‘Sai’. The doting grandparents, Dwarkanadh’s in-laws, had travelled from the Indian capital New Delhi to Manama to attend the boy’s first birthday. The father in law had taken to Swami the way a fish takes to water. But Pankajam had her reservations against dining at a Sai devotee’s place!

Thus it was on the evening of 17th of March, 1983, Dwarkanadh, his wife and his father in law left for the friend’s place at about 7:30 pm. Pankajam and the year-old Sai Gopal stayed back at home.

Unexpected visitor

Grandmother and grandchild spent a couple of happy hours in each other's company. Past dinnertime, the child seemed to get hungry. Pankajam fetched the feeding bottle and started giving milk to her grandson. Gopal contentedly settled with the bottle in his cradle, suckling at it with gusto. That was when there was a knock on the door.

Pankajam ignored it at first. She didn’t know anyone in Bahrain and so, the house could practically be considered locked as far as any visitor was concerned. However, the visitor was quite persistent with the knocking. Pankajam thought that it was her son in law’s cousin and his wife who were staying next door. They might have come to check on her to see that she was fine. The knocking continued and finally, Pankajam rose from the chair at the dining table. She walked to the door. She unlocked the door and opened it. Instantly, she realized that she had been totally wrong in her guess of who it might be. Her face turned pale and she instinctively moved to slam the door shut. So fast was her reaction that she hurt her hand in the process.

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The blessings of pain - Amey's experience with Bhagawan Sri Sathya Sai Baba

The need to ‘love God’

It was during a session at the 39th Annual State Conference of the Sri Sathya Sai Seva Organization in Odisha that a young man got up and asked a question,

“How can we love and worship God when we are ourselves in such pain and need? Isn’t it true that we can focus properly on spirituality only if our needs are met and pains assuaged?”

Even as this question was asked, I began to ponder about it. It is so natural that this question arises. In fact, Swami Vivekananda is quoted to have said,

“Don’t teach spirituality to a hungry man.”

Roti, Kapada and Makaan (food, clothing and shelter) are recognised as the basic needs without which, one cannot think of one’s mental and emotional needs also. That is what the famous Maslow’s hierarchy of needs also states powerfully - that human beings are motivated by a hierarchy of needs. It is only when the needs that constitute the lower levels are satisfied that a person thinks about fulfilling higher level needs. This theory is represented by a pyramid as shown below.

Maslow's hierarchical pyramid of needs.

Physiological needs are the physical requirements for human survival which include food, water, clothing and shelter. Safety and Security needs include personal security, financial security, health security and a safety net against accidents. Love and Belonging needs are covered in belonging to some societal group, a family; having friendships and intimacy.  Esteem needs present the typical human desire to be accepted and valued by others. It is only when all these four are met and achieved that a person contemplates self-actualization, which is defined as achieving one’s full potential. Different individuals perceive this fifth need differently and it can get expressed as professional excellence, being a perfect parent, artistic magnificence and so on.

With that in mind, we get back to the question,

““How can we love and worship God when we are ourselves in such pain and need? Isn’t it true that we can focus properly on spirituality only if our needs are met and pains assuaged?”

If we delve a little deeper, we realize that loving God, as a need, works in a way more mysterious and subtle that all the five needs mentioned by Maslow. And to make that clear, it would be apt to narrate a life-experience of Amey Deshpande. Amey is not a person needing introduction to a regular reader here. He is a dear Sai-brother of mine, who has been involved in several of my experiences with Swami (Bhagawan Sri Sathya Sai Baba) including the one in which Swami accepted me as His best friend. I have earlier penned down how he took a step towards Swami and was blessed with a beautiful assurance. I have also written about his most painful experience when he got thrown out of Swami’s school - a case of things having to go horribly wrong before being set aright. In the same vein, here is another educative experience of his.

An ‘ill-fated’ Sunday-morning bhajan session

After losing his seat in Swami’s school in 8th grade, Amey had tried hard to get back into the school in 11th grade. Since that had not happened, he had tried getting admitted into the BCom course at the University. That too had not happened. So, he enrolled in the Sheshadripuram College at Bengaluru (Bangalore then) and graduating in honours with a BCom degree, Amey got employed at Hewlett-Packard. He also became a Seva Dal volunteer at Brindavan, Whitefield. He has been blessed with a wonderful voice and it is not surprising that he soon became a lead bhajan-singer there. Every Thursday and Sunday, when the Bangalore Seva Dal got the opportunity to lead bhajans, Amey was in the forefront.